Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Learning to let God be God -

- 'cuz I'm not.


But think about it. How many times throughout the course of a day do we shove God aside to monkey with the control panel of our lives?

How often are our decisions made based on what WE want, what WE feel we need, what WE think is best?

All summer I've been doing a lot of soul searching. I realized I've been drawing my own maps and charting my own courses assuming God's approval. I'm a Christian. Jesus Christ dwells within. The Holy Spirit is my guide, so how can I go wrong? Isn't the mere having of those things enough?


Oh, I have all the blessings God promised me when I decided to follow Jesus, but I haven't used them well.

It's not like I don't know how to use them. Wanting to be independent, I chose not to.

Digging deeper, I've discovered a lack of faith.

"It's not fair!" Is my mantra.

"Why me?" Is the oft repeated question.

Over the course of time hope disappears.

Last night in my CBS (Community Bible Study), I came across this sentence in the commentary that accompanies the lesson: "God is not dismayed by our questions, but He cannot be pleased when we question His ability to do what He says He will do."

That, my friends, is the story of my life. I'm asking myself: Do I truly believe God will do what He promises? D0es He really have plans to prosper and not harm me (Jer. 29:11)?

I need to let God be God. Keep my paws off my life. Listen. Be still.

Hard stuff to do for me, but I'm determined to try.


C.J. Darlington said...

Sounds like you're on the right track, my friend. Thanks for baring your heart and soul here for us.

Red Letter Believers said...

What is the measure of success? When others pay attention to us? When we are well paid? When we 'somebody'?

Of course, as beleivers, we all say "no". Yet our actions and beliefs say differently. When we aren't compensated or honored or lifted up, we wonder "what's wrong with me."

yet God, as our loving Father, simply smiles at these rumblings, puts us on His lap, and reminds us of his favor.

That's when I've made it -- that's when I'm somebody

David Rupert

Anonymous said...

Here is Tang's blog. http://storysensei.blogspot.com

and then the World Magazine article I told you about is here:

David Rupert

Anonymous said...

remember us Samson and Rachel? We tried invitro and it did not work
we were pretty dissappointed about the failure of the invitro. It is hard to get your hopes up so high and than become discouraged and dissappointed when things do not go the way you would want.

But we are trusting in Gods plan for our lives and know that he sees the desire in us to have a family.

Rachel wants to look into adopting a child from Indonesia but that is very difficult. They make it very hard especially that she is chinese christian and not indonesian muslim.

There are other countries also from China and Korea and Hong Kong that are possibilities. She wants an asian child.

Also there is an option called Embryo adoption where a couple have an embryo already made but frozen because they had enough for invitro and was already successful. So we may persue that. Rachel would have it placed inside and give birth just as if it was ours. We did not want egg donor because that would be mine but not her and it is better both of us or neither of us.

Anyway we have not lost hope and are still trying and praying and trusting.

I have struggled with depression too but Lexapro (happy pill) helps.

God is in control