You have to actively seek it.
I am discovering that in the midst of grief over losing Caleb and a never-ending deluge of hardships (like living without hot water for example).
Every day I fight. Fight against the despair - that dark-creeping sadness squeezing every last gut and gizzard.
Every day I chose to find Joy.
I love gardening. This year due to all the hardships, I am not able to have much of a garden of my own. However, this does not mean I must go without a dirt fix. What I decided to do was seek out someone with means to buy all the plants and stuff but unable to physically make it happen. Currently I am doing an entire yard makeover for a senior couple from my church. The yard laid fallow for over a decade. I have a blank slate to go flower-design crazy! I am getting my dirt fix in spite of my circumstances and Joy is there knowing I will wow this couple when they return from vacation in a few weeks.
My poor Nikon D50 wimpered as I ambled by. Heeding its call, I took it out of the case and decided to go shooting. The nuances of taking great pictures gets lost in the age of iPads with build in cameras. Joy comes when I upload pictures to my computer screen, sit back and think... wow! I took that?
Today I will take Kyle to the zoo. I am tired and somewhat grumpy, but I expect to find Joy amid the animals and time with my son.
Life is hard. Joy may be elusive. But it is there.
You just have to put effort into looking for it.