Trust and...

Anyone remember that old hymn, "Trust and Obey" junior church leaders made you sing to beat the concept into your head?

"When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word, what a glory He sheds on our way. While we do His good will, He abides with us still, and with all who will trust and obey-

"Trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jeeeessssuuuuuuuussssss, but to trust and obey."

Cheesy melody aside, the words are pretty powerful. I never really thought much about the meaning. I sat in my pew, trying to flip my eyelids inside out, while wishing the pianist would pick up the tempo and finish the song (it was played so badly).

Obedience doesn't come easy for me. The more someone insists I DO something a CERTAIN way, the itch to do the exact opposite becomes unbearable!

God is seeking my obedience. What I think He's asking me to do is something I really don't want to do. Actually, there are several things He wants me to do.

But...

...they're too hard...

...take too much time...

...use too much gas...

...bring back old hurts...

...trigger panic attacks...

...require me to make a fool of myself and look even stupider than I do now...

...require resources me and my family DON'T have...

....may cause my wonderful hubby to drive a bus up his left nostril...

Why the heck do I want to obey God when it means more hardship? When it calls for what I don't think I have?

Luke 12:22-34 smacked me in the head last week, and hasn't left me alone. I can't get it out of my head. You know, it's that passage about us being worth more than the birds (unless you're a member of PETA and you think humans need to become extinct), and that the flowers of the fields who do nothing but sit in dirt and look pretty, make the best-dressed celebrities in the world look shabby...

Jesus makes the point that we aren't supposed to worry. Um, excuse me! Jesus, have you seen my life???

Verse 32 (I think - I have The Message and it doesn't break out every verse number) says, "Steep yoursef in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don't be afraid of missing out. You're my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself."

Pretty much says if I'm obedient and surrender every molecule of my life to Jesus Christ, He'll take care of everything else. Dang, that's hard!

I'm sitting here wrestling with Him. I don't want to step out of my comfort zone. I have a new reading chair that's comfy! I don't want to drive almost an hour on a weekly basis to be part of a writer's group (it's not the ladies, it's the distance). I REALLY don't want to audition for worship team.

I know I'm supposed to join the writer's group. I'm still not clear about WT. God has to drop Mt. Everest on my head to get me to put myself through that hell again.

Argh.

Being a Christian sucks.

On this planet.

By obeying God, I'm building up treasure in Heaven. Treasure that can't be stolen, or eaten by bugs.