Thursday, June 29, 2006

Blogging Chicks and Scary Things

I put this little counter thing on the bottom of my blog page - well, I had someone else do it b/c it involved complicated and weird computer language - anyway, a few people are actually reading "Litterbox".

Welcome to new readers - most of whom are probably fellow Blogging Chicks. I have joined the Blogging Chicks blogroll (you can see it on the right side - scroll down a bit and there is a looonnnnggg list of blogsites to explore). One of these days I'll have an "official" graphic and intro, but alack and alas, it requires html coding. I just write. Programming and coding are more foreign to me than the Indonesian language.

What are you afraid of? I'm terrified of thunder, lightning, and anything with more than four legs. Even more debilitating is my fear of failure. I'm trying to confront myself on my fear of failure because I use it as an excuse to NOT do what God wants me to do - finish my novel and write articles. I call myself a writer. I love to write, heck, I'm blogging aren't I? But my fear comes in when I know my work must be evaluated by an editor type person for worthiness.

Part of the problem is that I don't know any editors personally. Can't say I've ever met one. Right now when I hear the word "editor", my imagination paints a picture of a tall, menacing, drooling, hairy-faced beast with canines to rival those of a pre-historic hairy elephant thingy. The eyeballs are extra large for reading thousands of pages of 12 pt font, and their fingers are strong enough to rend in half the thickest of unworthy manuscripts. Editors at some of the largest pub houses probably think virgin pine forests in the Northwest are a form of pretzel farm...

No offense to anyone reading who is an editor. Please correct my bizzarre assumptions!

I've querried a few publications for articles and have recieved the mass-printed rejection letter. I know, I know, the best of the best get HUNDREDS of rejections - even AFTER they are well-known. It's a rough world. Not a place for a person with rejection issues. So why has God gifted me with writing (and singing) - talents that are put out there for evaluation and targets for certain criticism and rejection?

I say all this b/c I've been sitting on my novel ms for about a year and a half. My fear prevents me from working on it for months at a time. I want it to be "just right" immediately. I'm my own worse critic. Additionally, I have heaps of article ideas, but am terrified to write the querry letter. Would you believe that one letter I wrote, I revised about 10 times and was still not happy with it when I sent it in? (It was turned down).

So my dilema: God gifted me to write. I loathe rejection and go way out of my way to avoid it. I'd rather break my nose... God called me to write. How do I ultimately overcome my fear enough to obey Him?

Here is the perfect oportunity for you to comment. I'm kinda stuck in the litter box of life right now and it stinks!

1 comment:

michele said...

Thanks for the plug! You don't have to use the graphic to be offical :-). I offer the graphic to make the posting easier.