Kyle's adoption hearing is scheduled for October 27, 2006 at 9 AM in the Douglas County courts. John and I will stand before a judge and testify to our competence at parenting. The judge then decides if we are worthy or adequate. Yikes! Most parents have sex, and nine months later a baby is born. Nobody pokes into their lives to make sure the crib slats are x amount of inches apart, or that their home is completely baby-proofed long before the baby can turn over. Nobody demands printouts of their bank accounts or runs credit checks to make sure they can afford care for the baby, or watches to see if they can put a diaper on correctly. Most of all, they don't have to worry that after caring for their beloved wee one for six months, somebody could look at all the data and decide someone else could do a better job, or a birthparent may suddenly decide they want to take their bundle back. Adoptive parents, on the other hand, live on the brink for six months.
Good news is that parental rights have been terminated on both sides. We don't have to worry about the "sudden change of heart". The adoption agency, the pediatrician - they all advocate for us as parents. John and I aren't crackheads, so there is little chance the judge would deny us permanent parenthood. But, the idea of being on trial... it's kinda creepy!
Tomorrow I will submit a deposition from the pediatrician (He simply wrote that Kyle is a perfect baby), and a month-by-month narrative on my expereince as a mother. It's amazing how fast time flew over the past six months. We're almost there. Kyle is almost officially a Gudger. The invasive monthly questioning about what formula is he drinking, how are John and I getting along, what does our financial picture look like - it all will end! YEAH!
Then the court hearing.
Then, John and I can be NORMAL parents doing normal parent things. We can travel out of town without having to report our locations. We can not have to worry about someone deciding we don't make enough money to have a baby in the house. Kyle will be ours. Forever.
No one can ever un-adopt him from us. No matter what, he'll be our son - poopy butt, and oatmeal-faced grin and all!
As tedious as the whole adoption process is, the beauty of it is that Kyle will KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was and is wanted. We waited a lOOONNNNNGGGG time for him and had to work very hard to make the deal a done one. It's also the picture of how we entered God's family.
We paid a big price for Kyle. One that we really couldn't afford. God paid a price - the most costly - to make us members of His family. Angela gave up her only son to us, to make our lives fuller and more complete. God gave up his only son to make our lives complete and forever. Wow!
Adoption is hard. Sometimes the process and red tape can be a pain in the posterior, but it is SO worth it. I don't regret being infertile. If I could conceive babies, Kyle would not be in my life. I love that Little Booger so much, I can't imagine life without him. I don't want to. I would die. God has blessed me beyond my wildest imagination with this very special baby.
Life in many ways, sucks for John and I right now. We are in serious finacial crisis, but the pain associated with those trials diminishes when those chocolate brown eyes squint, the nose wrinkles, and the toothless mouth opens in a squeals of joy.
One month from now, we will celebrate. Kyle will be ours!