Thursday, August 10, 2006

Flying high and...naked?

Somebody got a humongo scoop? The stench from the litterbox has intensified exponentially with the revelation of the (thankfully) foiled terror plot in Great Brittan.

All morning long, I've been listening to 710 KNUS from Denver. All morning long, the small newsbreaks mention how lines are terribly long at Denver International and all passengers are tossing sun screen, shampoo, contact solution and baby formula! Sooooo, no liquids on board an airplane b/c there may be an explosive in that bottle of mouthwash.

I'm all for being safe. I try to thank the haggard TSA employees who poke through my belongings every time I fly. But where and when will the madness stop? What happens if someone invents exploding underwear elastic? You know, kinda like the red and green plastic explosive gum Tom Cruise used to decimate an aquarium in Mission Impossibe? Will we have to fly naked? Might as well make the word a global nudist colony, but then women will be targeted for having nitroglycerine implants...

No liquids. Can't bring bottled water on a plane that makes only one beverage pass during a 3.5 hour flight providing only a 4 oz cup... The last time I flew United, I forgot to fill my water bottle. As I boarded, I noticed bottled water nestled in the cup holders of the first class seats. Looking up at the Stewardess I politely asked if I may have a bottle of water to take to my seat. She stared at me as if I asked her to allow me to bite her.

"We don't have bottled water."

"Um... yes you do, " I said pointing to a bottle as a drop of condensation rolled down its side.

"Oh, those are for first class passangers only."

"You mean, a coach passanger is not entitled to a bottle of water that probably cost UAL only 30 cents? You're kidding me, right?"

"I'm sorry ma'am. You'll just have to wait until the flight attendant in your cabin comes along to give you a cup of water, please move to your seat, you're holding up traffic."

What about contact solution? When I fly overseas, I need to remove my lenses, or it feels like a lava-rock boulder field took up residence on my corneas. People who wear contacts on overseas flights know eyedrops and solution are an absolute necessity! (glasses are not an option for me. They cannot correct my vision)

I guess you can't carry on your luggage for a short trip unless you buy toiletries at your destination. What if your destination is a thrid world country?

It's like the shoe bomber thing. Once a plot is uncovered, do you think the terrorist are so stupid to use it? I understand the need for the security in the immediate: there may be others boarding planes with explosive chemicals in a water bottle or eye-drop container, but weeks from now? For years we've had to remove our shoes. What would happen if someone created a noxious, deadly toe jam? Would we have to amputate our feet before boarding a plane?

Yes, that's absurd, but think about it. No matter what the terrorists do, the reaction is to ban anything and everything imaginable that is similar to the "tool" of destruction. The list goes on... exploding tooth fillings, underwire for a bra, zippers, belly-buttons?

These terroists are indeed affecting the lives of ALL of us. It makes me mad. These people want to kill. Negotiate? Yep. That's what our insightful left wants to do. You can't negotiate with people who are following the teaching of their religion. They honestly believe they are doing Allah's work by killing Westerners, especially Americans. Americans to them are vermin. You don't negotiate with that!

Flying is beginning to get awfully cumbersone. Why would anyone want to travel? Given the circumstances now, it would be a HORRIBLE experience to fly with my baby. No formula. No lotion or diaper rash cream... Are we letting the terrorist win by making travel so unpleasant that everyone stays home? That our economy is destroyed? I think this latest ban on liquid substances is pushing it, even from me. The day we are required to strip down, no - better yet show up at the air port NAKED is the day I toss in the towel of travel for good.


lori said...

LOL!! I needed this post today. My 18 year old daughter flies out tomorrow for a trip to Florida for a week. I told her not to take anything in her purse except what she absolutely had to have. I'm not sure if she would still go if she had to go naked! : )

D. Gudger said...

I just read on the msn news site that baby formula is allowed if the mom tastes it... YUCK! There was an article in FORBES about the potential to fly in Speedos! (ew).

Like I said, I'm all for being safe, and for keeping people alive, but how far will the FAA and DHS go?

Humble Beginnings said...

I'm all for flying naked. But all I need to do is picture my congregation on the same flight... and I realize its a bad idea.