Messed up computers belong in the litterbox

People are beginning to ask me if I've fallen of the face of the planet. It's been a long time since I've really posted some deep thoughts.

I've been quite busy the past two weeks.

This weekend, we had the pleasure of hosting two Latvians in our home. Maris and Inguna Gruzninas from Talsi. John and I met them two years ago on the choir mission trip to Lativa. Our first Sunday in Talsi, all of us were farmed out to spend time with Latvian families in their homes. Inguna got up and asked who the craziest American was. My name reverberated off the white walls of the sanctuary. Inguna and Maris took John and I to their home, along with our friends Darwin and Marilyn. (Darwin happens to be half as crazy as I, which makes him the second craziest person in the choir.)

In the car, richochetting down a dirt road, Inguna smiles asking if we had bathing suits with us. We all nodded. She told us we were going to be inducted into the Latvian culture by experiencing a true Lativan sauna. Hearing the word "sauna" makes me break into a sweat. I couldn't imagine the difference between the sauna experience here in the states, and the one in Lativa.

Clad in bathing suits, with towels wrapped around our heads, Maris lead us into the sauna that he built himself. On the wall was one of those monster sized thermometers. The big red needle pointed at 100 degrees...

CELCIUS!!!

In case you don't know, 100 degrees C, is the boiling point. Some 200 + degrees F, depending on your altitude. Maris saw us hesitate to step into the ceader boarded room and coaxed us in. In fact, two of his three kids aged 7 and 15 joined us.

"You stay in sauna for 15 minutes. After that, you jump in pond."

Did I mention the fact that lattitudinally Lativa is as far north as Ankorage Alaska? That the highs in June are in the 60's? The waters are still only a little above freezing? And the mosquitoes...

For me the torture was the sauna part. Never in my life had full submersion in near freezing water felt so GOOD! John dipped his toes in and tried to "adjust" to the water. Me? I dived right off the dock. First one in. I think Darwin was second.

Any how, back to the present...

Inguna is the principal and founder of Talsi Christian School. It is the ONLY school in Latvia that educated students with special needs both physical and cognitive. Special education does not exist in Latvia in the public or private systems. Kids with special needs are institutionalized far from home. She and Maris came to talk to our church about the orphan camp they host each year at the school.

Another big even this weekend was the 3rd annual Phat Choir Classic. The purpose was to raise money for our choir's mission trip to Latvia next year. John and I both are going. Kyle will spend two weeks in PA with Grandma and Grandpa. Mom already warned me she may not be able to part from him:) John and I want to model to Kyle that missions is one of the highest priorities for us. Especially to Latvia. God has called us to serve along with our Latvian brothers and sisters.

Oh, sorry for the lack of pictures this time. My computer is behaving in a most litter-box way. My tool bars never loaded, and I can't get graphics to show up. May have to call the Geek people to fix it.

Haulin' Some Baby

Riding a bike pulling a trailor with a car seat and baby is a whole different ball-game! Ask my legs. So far this week, I've ridden two sixteen mile rides hauling Kyle up Mount Carbon in Morrison, CO. Thank goodness for my new/old bike and the "granny gears". 3 MPH is about the fastest I'm climbing w/ the babe on this 5-8% grade climb.

I'm on a quest to loose the "elbow" weight gained from my recovery period which had to be inactive. At least when people see me w/ the baby, they assume I'm in the process of loosing baby weight. I don't correct their assumption... :)

Now to fold laundry as we prepare to host a Latvian couple for the weekend.

GQ models beware!

Have you ever seen anything so cute in all your life? (Ignore the troll holding him in the b-day hat picture.)

Mom, you asked for more recent photos of Kyle so you can see how he's changed... here you go! The little muffin man is now six weeks old and more alert than ever. I can't even begin to tell you all how popular this child is. He was invited to a birthday party several days after he was born, and the party was last Saturday. He asked me if he could wear a party hat. Doesn't he look like the Roaming Gnome sans beard? (The Roaming Gnome is the mascot for Travelocity.)

Being a parent not only forces you to become responsible for a little creature, it also forces you to take a deep look at yourself. Recently I've been overwhelmed by my sense of inadiquicy of being a parent. I'm also struggling with no feeling worthy of receiving such a precious gift.

Why?

The flawed belief system I hold to in regards to how I evaluate myself. It's easy to ignore such things when you aren't put in a position of responsibility and influence. Parental behaviors, good and bad, can be replicated in children. I don't want Kyle to grow up with a negative self perception or a negative outlook on life.

I'm a pessimist. Don't ask me how I came to be one, but I don't recall ever being anything but. Most people blame their parents. I can't. Honestly, I have two of the greatest parents a child could ever have been given. No matter how wonderful the home and the love, wounds happen.

I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect. Talk about defeating one's self before starting the journey! I want Kyle to grow up healthy and whole. But, the world is a fallen place, and he will be hurt. He's a boy. Our society has devalued men and boys. I can't shield him. I can only teach him healthy coping skills to deal with hurts...

BUT...

I, yes, ME, MYSELF and I must have a toolbox full of healthy skills that I USE. Sure, I know alot about child development and psychology and education - I have several degrees in those areas along with a Masters. But I am not good at applying the knowledge in my head to my own life, and now as a parent, my failure to seek the truth in regards to how God sees me is flying into my face.

I am a child of the KING. I am a CHILD of the KING! I AM A CHILD OF THE KING!!! Not the King of Zimbabwe, but THE KING - the one who owns the cattle on a thousand hills. God. He created me in HIS image. The world has told me otherwise. I chose to believe the world starting from the time I was a kid and boy has that ever caused me years of needless pain. Why do we humans choose to believe lies about ourselves? Lies from the pit of Hell itself?

I think it's because we lack faith. I can't see God. I've never really SEEN Him. Oh sure, evidence of Him is all around, but I can't tell you that he has black curly hair, orange skin and purple eyes. We, fallen beings tend to internalize information from sources we can see, and then we add up the circumstances that happen to support the lies.

I know the truth. I've studied the Bible all my life. I know what's in there. I still study the Bible on a very intense level through Community Bible Study, but I too often fail to APPLY and live out the Truth.

I'm on a journey now. I need to be healthy and whole, so I can train my son to be healthy and whole in a world that seeks to destroy him. Pray for both John and I and for Kyle. Retraining my thinking won't happen over night, and Satan will for sure try to divert my progress.

Photo Phun: Going...going... gone!

Kyle shows off one of his newly discovered talents - scooting head first out of his boppy. He does it rather quickly too!

Archtypal Joy: The EMPTY cross!

All week long news anchors and other talking heads are trying desperately to invalidate the truthfulness of scripture. These "Judas Gospels" are only helping to stir the pot some. Fine. People are going to try to pass off the Gospels as nice little stories with nice little life lessons. Jesus was a prophet and was killed. What irks me the most are images of him on the cross. Yes, he died for our sins. None are righteous, no not one! The wages of sin is death... BUT in order to win the battle waged for millenia against Satan, Jesus had to BEAT death. The victory was not in His death, rather in His resurrection!

Beware: offensive material to some, but hey, the Gospel IS offensive...

I don't understand why some religious groups like to keep Jesus on the cross. The crucifix has almost become an idol in some circles as has Jesus' mother Mary. She was a sinful human being like the rest of us, but assigned a very important duty - to bear God's son. But I digress...

What we as Christians need to show the world is the EMPTY cross. Too many people see the crucifix and use that as evidence toward their belief that God is dead. He's NOT dead. He's alive! Death was defeated. The grave could not hold him, Satan lost. Sure, it looks like Satan's winning these days. Terrorism, anything-goes sexuality, abuse, molestation, crooked politics, the list would extend far beyond the space I have on my blog. Face it. The world is a LITTERBOX full of poo. Lift your head above the plastic rim and look beyond to the fresh, clean world God has prepared for us in Heaven BECAUSE Jesus not only died, but he CAME BACK TO LIFE.

We party hard at Christmastime. His birth. I'm guilty of not putting much effort into the more important holiday - Ressurection Sunday. We all are. Boldy wear your EMPTY crosses around your necks. Display the empty cross. Take down the crucifix. Put up the naked cross. Party hard. Jesus is risen and that's the ULTIMATE JOY.