Friday, February 24, 2006

My reality of "fun"

It's one of the most common converstaion starters, "So, whatdaya do fer fun?"

My most up-to-date reply is, "Well, I sit in waiting rooms for a while waiting for sadistic therapists to tork my broken elbow in ways it refuses to go. I subject myself to varying forms of radiation, needles, and then I passively play pharmecutical roulette." Not wanting the conversation to continue, I plant my nose back into my book while hoping the slack-jawed interloper would leave me alone.

My health is a BIG turd in the litterbox of life right now. Dear Hubby pointed out I spend more time dealing with health issues than I do working. Something's wrong with that ratio. Seems a little sick and twisted to me.

I've been battling chronic headaches for several years now. For a while, strength training and staying in good physical condition helped, but about three months ago, that inexplicably changed. The headaches returned. Nothing helps. I avoided going to the doctor because I didn't want to deal with my health insurance company - that is the archetypal headache! It's a poor reflection on our society when people avoid necessary medical treatment b/c the insurance companies make life miserable and you end up in debt over your eyeballs even when you're standing on a 15 foot high brick wall!

But, I had to go. Kyle is coming. Kyle needs a mommy who can function. Today I had a CT scan (more radiation - no wonder I'm crazy!). Most people are praying for a clean scan. I'm actually praying something shows up!! I know that sounds rather morbid, but I'm at the point where I want them to find out what's causing my misery and treat it. A clean scan would mean weeks and weeks of trial and error, not to mention more referrals and time in waiting rooms. What kind of life is that?

Keeping with the spirit of my blog (JOY in the litterbox), I need to lay my frustrations at the foot of the cross. That's hard when you have a bungee cord attached to them! I have to believe God has a reason and a purpose for all of this (yeah, and then throw in the elbow fiasco on top of it all!!!). He is soverign. The Bible says He won't give us more than we can handle... THE BIBLE SAYS HE WON'T GIVE US MORE THAN WE CAN HANDLE... Lord, you inspired those words...

Right now I must look forward to the joy of seeing my friends Brian and Heather this evening. It's been a long time.
Chloe looks so cute all wrapped around herself in the ugly tan chair and Esau is playing baby-doll in the stroller. Joy. It's there, even today. I just have to make and EFFORT to find it. :)

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