Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I'm allergic to exhaled air: Would you quit breathing?

Sarcasim alert:

the content of this blog post may increase incontinence and raise blood pressure. The exhaled air from your guffaws may penetrate the walls of my home and give me hives higher than Mount Elbert. It also may be offensive to some.

I hate heavy perfume as much as the next person, but this everybody-bow-to-my-allergies/preferences tyranny is a bit much.

So. What happens if I e-mail the organizer of say, the Republican National Convention (I'm not going - drat) and tell them I'm allergic to exhaled air. Can I demand everyone around me quit breathing?

Should event planners choose to ignore my request, I will be isolated, excluded and shunned by my brothers and sisters of conservative principles. How loving is that?

Bring my own face-mask or breathing filter? Are you nuts? That would single me out, making me feel bad. Better make the tens of thousands of delegates, protesters and event staff cater to my individual needs. It's the Christian thing for them to do! And we all know the Republican party is the party of Jesus. (:D - it's a joke!)

Ah, and I'm allergic to ice and chilled food. Being around chilled food or ice, causes my head to itch. When I scratch my scalp, I loose a few strands of hair and my fingernails fall out. It's embarrassing. Please spare me the humiliation by serving room temperature sandwiches on organic corn tortillas made from corn grown in Pennsylvania. (Iowa soil causes my right eye to twitch out of control).

But, please, feel free to have fun. Don't let my individual needs get you down. Pat yourselves on the back for being inclusive. I'll never forget the kindness and sacrifices made for my convenience. Who knows, the potential vice-presidential candidate may be allergic to carpet fibers too. (Note to self: Have convention venue pull up all carpeting and sanitize concrete flooring two weeks prior to my arrival.)

Serious note so you don't think I'm a nasty person.

My mother suffers from life-threatening asthma and other allergies (perfumes, molds etc). I understand the serious nature of allergies. However, what makes me angry is when people go into the "ban everything" mode, stripping the rest of the world from personal freedoms.

Peanut butter has been in the news for years. Most schools don't allow it at all. They used to have "peanut free sections" where allergic kids can eat, but that singled those few kids out. Rather than encouraging a tuna eating kid to sit with the can't-eat-peanuts kid, all kids have to check their Recees at the schoolhouse door. Peanut butter is the only protein some kids will eat. Now they need to eliminate a necessary element of nutrition for the sake of one?

Consideration for special needs such as allergies is given graciously when requested graciously. Not demanded. Not communicated through over-the-top bans.

Respect works both ways. If you see someone sitting in a corner b/c someone is wearing some foul-smelling, eye-stinging stink spray, go sit with them! I'm sure people NOT allergic to perfumes won't tolerate the smell and try to escape. Don't make a big "stink" about it.

It's not fair to demand 12,499 people out of 12,500 completely change their lifestyle. Resentment is inevitable.

In a world where our freedoms are evaporating faster than rubbing alcohol on a hot stove, it's hard not to be rankled by insistence on giving up rights for the sake of one or two.

If you like to stink, do it in your own space. If you are weirded out by bras - go stand with a bunch of men. Be considerate. Be reasonable.


Jan Parrish said...

LOL.:) WFTJ starts up again on Tuesday. Hope to see you there!

Megan DiMaria said...

Darcie -- why don't you tell us how you really feel?


A prisoner of hope,