We got a letter in the mail today from the adoption agency. We are unable to apply for another adoption at this time.
The agency is swamped by first timers that they must place babies w/ childless couples over those of us who've received placements. It was hard to hear.
When John requested another application while I'm still wiping a tiny hiny, I worrried. What if we get a baby in six weeks? That would be like having twins!
I surrendered to God and figured His timing would be perfect. I have to believe this is His way of saying "not now". It's disappointing. I don't want Kyle to be an only child. I really want him to have a little brother or two.
I also don't want to do the whole baby thing when I'm 40! It was hard enough at 33!
The plus side is that we won't be owing anybody any money right now. That gives us more time to ease the debt that accrued while John's jobs were unstable and I had health and injury crisis that drained our accounts.
It's hard to be told by outsiders when you can or can't have children. It's hard not to be able to make that decision as a couple without bringing in 3rd, 4th or 5th parties. Those of you who can conceive, count your blessings.
A few years back, we were in a Sunday school class that was full of couples with young children. Every week nearly all of the couples complained about their kids, or being pregnant again, unplanned. They knew John and I, along with another couple unable to conceive were in the class. Things got so bad, the four of us had to leave!
Don't take your babies for granted. They are a blessing from God, even when they drive us crazy! That's what kids do to parents, but it doesn't make them any less of a blessing!